Kinda Weird

I will be going to Genting Highland later but i do not know whether i am happy or sad. I do not know how to describe my feelings at the moment. Its like kind of happy because i can go out to play but kind of sad too because i'm going but not with the person that i wanted to go with!
I am still hoping that he will go but deep down,i know,this will not happen. I know he loves me very much...Even without him telling me,i know that...
He wants me to enjoy myself,play hard after STPM as this is what i always tell him before this.Although he is not going with me,i'm going to play hard and also take care of myself.I will not let him worry about me as he had worried enough!

And guess what?I'm watching 'Armageddon',one movie which is nice according to him and its this movie which makes him like the song 'I Don't Want To Miss A Thing'by Aerosmith... (silly enough,i hope he will watch with me)

I do not know why.To me,whatever about him is good and almost everytime,its the best!

Dar,when you see this,maybe you will smile,as this is what you always do...Laughing at me and make me feel embarassed in front of you but this is what i'm going to do,in order to not to make you worry about me.

In the future,we will be able to go for a vacation together.You had promised me...

I Love You,Dar...
~ForEveR~

Thinking this way,Am i right?

When its all about him,i really do not know what to do.

~~Exam is over,my family and i am planning to go Genting Highland for a 3 day 2 night vacation. My mother invited him to come along as there is still space for 3 peoples in our car. Other than him,i also invited his 2 sisters. They say they will ask their mum's permission but at last ended up ... they can't go.
I'm sad...He say he will try his best to persuade his mum but when i called him and ask,he is telling me some other things.He is the only guy in the family,and the family need him very much!These are some of those that he told me. But how about me?
Did he ever thought that i need him too? Did he thought that me,as his wife,also need him as much as his family need him?
I do not think so...He don't even thought of that,maybe...

After i heard that he cannot go,i cried...I know,i'm very stupid.
The thing is,before STPM,i already asked him many times and he said okay but now?What answer that he gave me?
He always say that i comes first but when the real situation comes,i do not know how to comment on these...

Haiz...Maybe the time is just not right for us.We will be able to get through all these obstacles,i believe!
I really do HOPE i can go out with him,for a vacation,spending some valuable and precious times together.If its not this time,it will be the next time.
The time will come,this is what he said to me.